20 Things Wrong With American Horror Story We All Choose To Ignore
The horror anthology hit TV show American Horror Story just might be the magnum opus of Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuck. Scarier and more riveting than any of the duo's other projects, the spine-tingling series features a new theme and characters every season that are all still linked to each other's universe. From the casting announcements to the series hints, theme reveals, and each season's unique introductory visuals, it's riveting entertainment all around. Even so, some seasons fall further off the mark than others, with many episodes barely even registering on the "horror" radar while others left us scratching our heads wondering what the heck just happened.
The thing is, we tend to give glaring errors, plot flops, and other things wrong with the show a pass because we love it so much. From intriguing horror to irresistible characters, from unexpected plot twists to some of the best storytelling on TV, American Horror Story keeps us coming back, not because it's flawless but because it's still addictive despite, and sometimes because of, its many flaws.
We might love a character and conveniently forget that he or she is a monster. We'll keep tuning in even after an entire sequence left us feeling disgusted, embarrassed for the actress who had to play out the scene, or even angry at the creators themselves. It's just that addictive.
We love it and we'll keep coming back for me, even with these 20 Things Wrong With American Horror Story We All Choose To Ignore.
20 Some Seasons Aren't Scary
With a name like American Horror Story, you might expect every episode to be a scream-fest. That's just not the case, especially in seasons four and five. While there's no shortage of horror-inducing characters in these seasons, they didn't really give us nightmares like previous and subsequent seasons were able to do.
Were we jaded from all the mutants, ghosts, zombies, and other creatures in previous seasons?
Both Freak Show and Hotel fell short on promises of terror, often vying for more intense drama (a calling card of Falchuck and Murphy) instead. While we still received interesting stories, Gaga's vampire and Twisty the Clown just weren't all that scary.
19 There's No Reason Given For All The Hotel Vampire Kids
In season five, Hotel, Lady Gaga's character, The Countess Elizabeth, is a little less fabulous than we expected her to be. Perhaps she couldn't live up to the Gaga we all know and love already. One of the things that just made zero sense about the character was her propensity to collect children and turn them into little vampires. Does Elizabeth have an old woman in the shoe complex? Is she just that bored? What is the point?
Here's the thing about kids in horror movies: they add instant scare-factor. Take a look at most scary film kids, from Village of the Damned to The Others and you'll see the scariest moments. The fact that the vampire kid collection wasn't even scary was a pretty big letdown.
18 Teeth Fall From The Sky For No Reason
Season six of AHS, Roanoke, was able to recover some of the lost ground from the previous two less-scary seasons but still suffered from the lack of the one and only Jessica Lang. The season saw a return to the haunted house theme, always popular in AHS history, and wove in some new elements, like the whole "based on a true story" theme. Between Deliverance-like hillbillies and more incredible Kathy Bates, Roanake was much better-received than Hotel, but it had some weird unexplained moments, like teeth randomly falling from the sky.
Not only do the teeth inexplicably fall while Matt is at work, but they also disappear.
The reason why is never given, prompting us to chalk this one up to "random scare tactic."
17 Queenie Tried To Hook Up With A Minotaur
While we definitely applaud Murphy and Falchuck's use of mythology throughout American Horror Story, it often makes no sense. Gabourey Sidibe was fantastic as Queenie, the young and lonely witch who gave as well as she got, used LaLaurie as her own personal racist slave, and really deserved main credits billing. But there was that one time she tried to hook up with a grotesque Minotaur...
While the inclusion of adult content is pretty standard in AHS, getting involved with a man who has bull's head sewed over his own is pretty far out there. It didn't make any sense, nor did Queenie's own survival following the incident (or anything else including the Minotaur, really), so we just move along and say that there's nothing to see here.
16 Zoe's Hell Is Just Life Without Kyle
Zoe Benson, portrayed by Taissa Farmiga, starts out as a compelling character in the third season of American Horror Story, Coven. She has unique powers that pay homage to classic horror and a long journey ahead.
Tossing in a love interest is a great way to derail a personal growth story.
That's what happened to Zoe with Kyle, her resurrected boyfriend played by Evan Peters. While we're glad that Murphy and Falchuck used Kyle to illustrate that mothers can be abusive to their sons just as much as fathers can, "life without Kyle" as Zoe's own personal hell is really stupid and overly angst-ridden.
15 Aliens In Asylum Makes No Sense
When it comes to American Horror Story, many fans reacted to the inclusion of aliens in season two, Asylum, in the same way that fans of Indiana Jones reacted to the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. For many horror fans, aliens don't enter the territory without very specific rules, and you certainly don't add aliens into an already-existing story for a scare factor.
The aliens of AHS also just weren't scary. Sure, they made Pepper more interesting and gave convenient explanations for a few weird happenings, but at the end of the day mixing aliens in with mutants, a mean nun, demons, and war criminals just doesn't work. It's a hodgepodge of plot devices tossed together like a salad with too many kinds of dressing. Sometimes simpler is just better.
14 The Musical Sequences
We get that Sister Jude is losing her mind in this tenth episode of season two, Asylum, but must we lose ours as well? The episode itself was gripping, but watching Jessica Lange sashay through "The Name Game" wasn't nearly as eerie as it should have been. It played off as more of an homage to the creators' Glee in a way that didn't work.
While some critics enjoyed the mind-boggling number, many of us like to pretend it never happened.
It's not the last time the showrunners implemented a bit of music and dance, either. Season four, Freak Show, featured several ditties, including a rendition of "Come As You Are" by Evan Peters, Sarah Paulson's "Dream a Little Dream of Me", and Lange singing David Bowie's "Life on Mars".
13 What Happens To Dr. Arden's Experiments?
The mutants created in Dr. Arden's horrific experiments are the stuff of nightmares, and they definitely present an interesting side story among the rest of the godawful happenings at Briarwood Manor in season two of American Horror Story, Asylum. Their issue, of course, is that they disappear off the radar without much of a peep.
Once turned into a mutant and taken to a hospital, Shelley, played by Chloë Sevigny as a homage to the many women unjustly committed to asylums throughout history, seems as if she may be able to lead the authorities toward Arden, but alas, Joseph Fiennes' conflicted yet greedy Monsignor Timothy Howard takes her out instead. We don't hear much about them afterward. What happened to the mutants?
12 The Messed-Up Historical Figures
Anne Frank was lobotomized by the evil Dr. Arden from Briarcliff Manor in season two, Asylum. Not only does this make zero sense, but it also really does a disservice to Anne Frank's memory. There is a lot of artistic license taken with historical figures throughout American Horror Story, from Delphine Lalaurie to James March. Even characters used as backgrounds for new characters, like Nellie Bly's inspiration for Lana Winters, often seems a bit much, especially when the representation is so loose.
The misrepresentation or grand re-representation of historical figures is nothing new.
Our own history books present complete falsehoods about everyone from Christopher Columbus to Paul Revere. Perhaps it's just so glaring because we acknowledge that now, particularly during an age of "fake news" awareness.
11 The Opening Sequence And Spoilers Promise More Than We Get
One of the most exciting elements of a new season of American Horror Story is always the opening sequence and the slowly-revealed spoilers. Cast announcements and cool visuals trickle in until we finally get to see that first episode with its incredible casting graphics. The creepy opening sequence does much more than announce the cast: it revs us up like the announcer for a really scary joust about to take place.
The only problem is that it often goes downhill from there. While season 1 typically delivered, the casting graphics in seasons like Freak Show were actually scarier than the episodes themselves. That's a real problem if we are supposed to be watching a horror program.
10 We Have No Idea What Happened To The Pig Boys
They were a successful execution of "the scary children" in a way that the little vampire entourage of the previous season just couldn't seem to manage, so maybe that's why Murphy and Falchuck decided to never let the "pig boys" of season six be seen again.
Aside from the fact that the boys could have made for some truly scary storytelling, the problem here isn't just that they had no deeper involvement in the story than "check out these creepy kids" but that they don't even have a resolution. Why the kids say, "Croatoan!" and why they drink pig milk remains unknown, and we may never know what happened to the charming little tykes.
9 No Consequences for the bad things the "good guys" do
As fans of American Horror Story, we sure do forgive a lot of murderers, don't we? When someone bad finally goes good, all of their wicked deeds don't seem to be as problematic. Even sweet Nan takes out Joan. Misty Day, otherwise a kind hippie, offs a couple of guys with alligators.
Were these warranted attacks? Maybe, but that doesn't erase the fact that many characters end the lives of others and we pretty much turn a blind eye toward it like we wouldn't if they occurred in real life. Of course, from people returning from the grave to mutant attacks near an asylum, there's really not a lot in the show that applies to real life.
8 There's Really No War Between The Coven And The Voodoo Witches
During season three, Coven, there's a big build up about an oncoming war between the coven and the voodoo witches of the area. Both are led by powerful women, and who wasn't excited to see Fiona, played by Jessica Lange, and Marie Laveau, played by Angela Bassett, go up against one another?
While there was plenty of tension and a zombie attack, it pretty much stopped there, especially after the witch hunters came to town.
AHS often builds up to something we're expecting and completely abandon it for another plot instead. While we get that they want to keep us on our toes, broken promises do leave us unsatisfied and underwhelmed.
7 Zoe And Madison Gave Their Souls To Azaezel And It Never Came Up Again
When the bus full of frat boys who assaulted Madison wrecks, taking out all of the monsters on board on Madison's whim, it's satisfying. Even seeing Kyle taken out doesn't bother some of us, given that we've already seen Evan Peters return from the grave before and wouldn't be surprised if he returned. He may have stopped his "brothers" but he certainly tried to help them not get caught, making him complicit in the attack.
When Zoe and Madison decide to put "boy parts" together to resurrect Kyle as the perfect Frankenstein boyfriend, they sell their souls to Azaezel in order to do so, and yet it never comes up again. Given that both girls bite the dust during the show, shouldn't that at least be an issue?
6 Roanoke's Reality Show Inception
It was one of the most pointless plot points to ever be inserted into a season of American Horror Story. During season six, Roanoke, we're treated to a reality show type of setting where re-enactors help us understand what happened to the Millers in "My Roanoke Nightmare", an obvious play on so many other popular reality-based ghost hunting and experience shows. That's an intriguing concept that works well for much of the season, but then we're hit with reality-ception.
Getting all of the actors and people involved in actual events together for the blood moon event is one thing, but what about the disclaimer that nobody even survived the ordeal? If that's true (which makes sense, since this is Roanoke), how did we get the footage in the first place?
5 There's No Point To Scathach
Scathach, the mythical warrior from the Isle of Skye in Irish folklore, is an incredible character. It's too bad we didn't really get to know her in season six, Roanoke.
Lady Gaga's Scathnach has a plethora of powers, is said to be the first Supreme and yet has no real point in the series.
The witch does a few nefarious things here and there, from purchasing souls to rendering people evil and insane, but in the grand scheme of things she has no real point except to serve as one of those random elements of horror woven in to just be spooky. Given the history of the traditional character, it would be amazing to see Murphy and Falchuck to use this as a tie-in for a more myth-heavy season.
4 People Are Constantly Offed Only To Be Brought Back
Character losses in the American Horror Story realm are pretty much like those in any comic book series: you don't ever count them as permanent. Even when an entire series ends and you believe a character to be truly gone, they may return in another season! It's definitely not a new tactic to have characters return from the grave; it's a strategy used in everything from Dallas to Supernatural.
It makes us feel a little more jaded and a little less invested when tragedy does strike.
Oh, Fiona is sick? Oh, Ethel's not going to make it? It's too often meaningless. We want to feel affected, and we can't help but worry a bit because we do love these characters, but deep down we're always still wondering when they'll return.
3 Twisty's "Resolution" Is Basically A Deus Ex Machina
Season four's big villain, Twisty the Clown, turned out to be much more Bozo than Pennywise. Sure, he was scary-looking, and he had the tragic backstory to boot, but Twisty's crimes felt more garden variety scary movie than the monstrous panache we'd expect from AHS.
Twisty, played by John Carroll Lynch, even had a disappointing resolution as a character. Not only was he never really sorted out by a main character or a victim bent on revenge, but he was literally yanked out of the show to join Edward Mordrake's nightmarish troupe, collecting the clown's soul after hearing his tale of woe.
2 Misty Day Was Unjustly Lost
One of the characters fans most resonated with in season three, Coven, was Misty Day, played by the talented Lily Rabe. Misty's character screamed Supreme, from her unique abilities to her lack of really caring about the position.
Misty was all about fairness, being kind to animals, and protecting the vulnerable, making her a fantastic character to root for.
Unfortunately she was also a red herring. Falchuck and Murphy offed her in such a terrible way in a Hell made up of her own personal vivisection nightmare, which made zero sense given her ability to bring things back to life so easily. Misty didn't deserve her ending, but neither did Nan and many other characters.
1 Tate Is A School Shooter
Tate Langdon is one of the most romanticized characters in the history of AHS. The season 1 character is a doting friend, devoted boyfriend who would do anything for Violet, and speaks volumes of teen angst to many a smitten heart. It doesn't hurt that Evan Peters, who plays Tate, is easy on the eyes as well. Is that why it's so hard to remember that Langdon is such a deplorable character?
Tate is a school shooter. He took the lives of several classmates and should represent what we most despise and do not condone in this nation right now. He also assaulted Violet's mother, Vivian, causing her to become pregnant with his Antichrist baby. How can anyone still crush on this guy knowing what harm he's done?
What other problems with American Horror Story do fans overlook? Let us know in the comments!